Saturday, November 28, 2009

Guilt trips - not an ideal trip

Guilt trips are not fun, period. I really feel that when someone pulls a guilt trip they're actively attempting to take away your personal decision making. We all know what we want, and don't want, to do. When someone urges us to do things their way, then it's unfair. If we choose an outcome that differs from their wants, then they pull out the guilt card. Well, I'm sticking to my own decisions, and I'm not going to apologize if we disagree.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

What to do....

How do you let go of a man you've loved since the moment you looked into his eyes? How does he let go of you?

So many years, and many unspoken words. Conversations that should have come about; neither person spoke up out of fear of appearing foolish.

What do you do when the thought of this man makes your heart beat harder? The though of him warms your skin.

The resonance of his laugh makes you smile.

His feelings for you are deep, but not often expressed to you.

Where do you go when his beauty makes your heart swell, but he's oblivious?

What do you do with all of this love that has been growing inside of you, and may never be revealed to him?

In your mind you've created romantic settings and tender touches - but this energy remains inert.

You have moments when you second guess yourself - your beauty, desirability, and intrigue. Then you remember yourself and laugh at the nonsensicality of the doubts. You are wonderful.

...and your love lingers.... you want just one kiss to make your knees kiss to make you forget yourself.

This progression of thought leads me to think of a little song by Otis Redding and re-worked by the Commitments.

"'ve got to hold her...squeeze get to've got, you've got, you've got to try a little tenderness...."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Stay in the moment....

As I work on relationships with people I have to remember to stay in the present. It doesn't help, and it isn't fair, to revert back to the past way of communicating. We all grow in maturity, and emotionally, as the months and years pass. Everyone deserves to show who they really are - beyond our perceptions of them.

Perhaps I can find a rapport where I thought there was none. Maybe our conversations, respect, and just honouring each other for who we are now, will grow our connection.

I move in, and out, of feeling optimistic, and I know that this is based on my fear around repeating more of the same from our preceding interactions.

Stay in the moment....

Monday, November 16, 2009

Where are we now?

Many of us women are struggling in our relationships. We may need breathing room; the space to be ourselves; to feel love for ourselves; perhaps to find hope that our unions will last.

Some of us are clinging to complicated bonds, and others are solidifying broken ones. We face the fear of being alone, or of starting over again. Some Ladies fear change and some of us fear that we'll repeat the same dynamic.

We all know someone who has jumped ship to swim to an island for some alone time - and this strong woman will move towards better experiences. Sometimes it takes longer than we'd like to reach this decision....

Maybe some of us need to look, yet again, at the men in our lives...I've added some examples of good and bad interactions with your man:

Good - Your man is wonderful to you - he shows love and respect to, and of, you. He adds to the energy of the room, and he always has kind words for you. He's supportive in the ways that you require. His touch feels good. He holds himself accountable for his feelings and actions.

Bad - He's mean verbally/mentally/physically, and you question if you should stay. He sucks the energy out of a room, and cuts you down.

Please don't waste anymore of your precious time with a bad man.

If we want to attract the best possible relationships in our lives then we must respect, love, and enjoy ourselves. It's time for women to pick up their self-esteem/confidence and try it on again. It's time for us to hold our heads up and stare down the hurdles on our paths. Let us embrace newness, challenges, and opportunities.