tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530248309584484772.post8940713403158209248..comments2023-05-07T01:50:33.443-07:00Comments on Solo Mommy: MeSolo Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04753957963804202575noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530248309584484772.post-49030109333464451662009-03-31T23:48:00.000-07:002009-03-31T23:48:00.000-07:00I felt like a single parent for most of my pregnan...I felt like a single parent for most of my pregnancy and Ava's first year. Her Daddy was involved, but emotionally I was on my own. I feel so much better now because even though I'm exhausted most of the time, at least I'm only dealing with my own feelings, and not the heaviness of the other person's struggles. <BR/><BR/>I'm acutely aware of how I am around Ava as her experience with me forms her internalization of this world. At the same time, I verbally snap, and have grumpy days, and say things occasionally in a tone that I don't like - and I make sure to apologize and explain why I feel frustration. All I can do is be me, and I can't be sweet all of the time. (During moments of complete grocery store meltdowns all I want to do is scream and throw my own tantrum. Sometimes I want to yell at her Daddy for never having to deal with this type of situation. Usually after a rough trip out Ava will say something totally cute, and I take a breath and let go of the experience.)<BR/><BR/>In the end, we have to do what's best for ourselves as women because if we're not happy and healthy in all areas then what good are we to our little ones? I knew that Ava having a happy Mommy was more important than keeping the family unit together in misery. Her Daddy is able to "be on" with her because he gets the time that he needs to recharge. (He gets a lot of this time in comparison, which is why I have to forgive myself for my moments of being less patient.)<BR/><BR/>We usually don't "have it all together" [as people] because we're constantly in a state of growth and change. The ideal of how we want to be in our relationship with our little ones, and the reality of what it looks like usually run parallel - and on really good days they intertwine.<BR/><BR/>What we can do is enjoy who we are, and be solid, independent, and graceful women.Solo Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04753957963804202575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530248309584484772.post-90768068688305691642009-03-31T08:36:00.000-07:002009-03-31T08:36:00.000-07:00I had a cry when I read your blog. I cried because...I had a cry when I read your blog. I cried because you spoke to the mom in me that feels like a single parent; you spoke to the woman who has a hard time speaking for herself sometimes; you spoke to the guide that was chosen to bring another being along for the earliest part of their journey in this life, on this earth. Thanks for speaking when I don't have the voice to. Thanks for making it easier for me to find my truth and realize I'm doing ok.Mandie582@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09205498408743092337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530248309584484772.post-59508432379787264192009-03-30T23:40:00.000-07:002009-03-30T23:40:00.000-07:00I, too was a solo mommy times four. I, too made a ...I, too was a solo mommy times four. I, too made a few mistakes in my choice of men. But I survived. And I am now a grandmother times four. I can teach both by my example and by my mistakes. Best wishes to you.Suzanne Leavitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07250555892301197728noreply@blogger.com