I've been feeling uneasy for the past two weeks. Discomfort means growth - which doesn't make me feel any better. I've made big decisions regarding the end of my marriage, and I'm struggling to figure out what to do in other areas.
For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling uncomfortable in my skin. This Lighthouse is dim.
Being on my own with Ava has kept me tired enough to fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow. Lately, I've been restless during sleep, and even in my dreams I know I'm not sleeping well. That's frustrating.
Ava is so sensitive and she picks up on my feelings. I think we've both been reacting to each other, and feeling like we need some breathing room. It feels like 'the chicken or the egg' - who started out with the crankiness and lack of patience, Ava or me?
As the days move along, I know all of this will improve. My tension will ease, and I'll be able to go to bed without feeling guilt about a less than stellar [Mother] performance. Every day is a new start, and I'm doing the best that I can each day.